The basic idea is this:

Our brains aren't optimized for growth, change, and optimization. They're geared towards the very specific, important tasks of keeping ourselves alive, and doing that while expending as little energy as possible.

This is an evolutionary/designed feature, not a bug, that allowed for the survival of our species across a history whose majority included conditions of scarcity that were rather hard to stay alive in.

It's also why, despite now living in an age of abundance and infinite access to information, it's almost a ubiquitous human experience that people don't get their proverbial shit together until that proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan.

St. Paul laments in Romans 7:19, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." Sammy in Wisconsin laments that "I know I gotta cut back, but I keep eatin' these damn donuts", until the doctor tells Sammy that Sammy's heart will explode if Sammy keeps eating the damn donuts, and suddenly the prospect of death feels more grave than the prospect of chocolate glazed Boston creme.

A question I frequently ask new members of my coaching community on our group calls is:

"Who here has ever had the experience of having to hit absolutely rock bottom - or close to it - before finally doing the thing you knew all along would make your life or situation better?"

Almost all the tiny zoom squares have their sheepish hands raise with a knowing smirk or held-back cringe from the suppressed memory.

I learned early on in my coaching career that transformation work is one of the hardest things to sell to people. Everyone knows they should spend less time on their phone, that meditation would improve their mind, that if they ate healthy, local, organic whole foods and train hard that they'd have a body that looks and feels good, that disciplined focus applied towards their business will help them make more money.

But our brains don't care what would be good for us. The script it's been running up until now has kept us alive, and why on earth would you exert all of that precious energy to do something different if you're safe and getting easy dopamine with Uber eats and doomscrolling more cat memes?

There are a few definable moments when a person hits the breaking point and finally decides that change is worth the effort. When the pain of staying the same finally surpasses the pain of the exertion required to change:

1. A person hits rock bottom. Life burns to ashes and there are no options but something different.
2. You finally become so sick of your own bullshit, that in a fit of indignant rage you turn the ship around.
3. Something stirs within them when they are sufficiently inspired (or outraged) by a person, cause, or event, and their paradigm is so shaken up that they must change
4. (Rare, but still happens): Divine intervention, where the heavens open and God Himself transforms a person

The spectrum ranges from desperation to inspiration, but the energy of the emotion that it awakens in someone must be greater than the status quo defined by person's default mode network in their brain.

In any of these events, it awakens a deeper level of awareness, where they become more deeply conscious of themselves, their circumstances, and what those could be instead. When the dissonance of what is and what could be grows to a crescendo, a person will respond one of two ways:

1. They will start to seek change
2. They will dissociate, distract, numb, and backwards rationalize to protect their ego as they continue to live in discontent

This is why I'm constantly harping on coaches to take the skills they have that can produce in transforming peoples' lives, and pick a niche where the pain is specific, relatable, and dire enough for a person to be incentivized to actually make the uncomfortable financial and convenience sacrifices required to take the transformational journey.

A lot of people would benefit from doing deep shadow work to excavate the exiled parts of themselves that are producing self sabotage. A man who is writhing in pain from heartache after breaking up with the love of his life might actually be desperate enough to do that uncomfortable deep inner work.

Many people would benefit from losing weight and working out more. A dad who lost his libido, whose wife stopped respecting him, and whose kids aren't inspired him might feel sufficient shame and dissonance to actually invest the time and money into making that transformation.

It's very rare that a person is a good enough storyteller and powerful enough thought leader that they can inspire people into metanoia with the myths of purpose they weave alone. To change peoples' paradigms to inspire them to take action and change, one has to be deeply rooted to a powerful 'WHY', live with inordinate embodied integrity with their values in a way that people feel, and be creating inspiring art, media, or speak with a conviction that stirs peoples' spirits.

Being good at marketing means that you have to get deep into the psychology of what motivates a person's fears and desires; this also gets you questioning why you want what you want.

Some would assert that humans are biologically motivated to pursue sex, status, and climb the hierarchy ladder. Others believe that societal conditioning and cultural norms define what we think we 'should' want. Some think that a person's deepest desires are inspired by the traumas and challenges that they go through, and that purpose and belief is born from lived experience.

While I think that all of these are true to an extent, I believe that every human being has a soul, and the blueprint of a life that they specifically were born to live. Eastern traditions call this dharma. Personal development calls it 'calling' or vocation. Christians call it anointing. James Hillman in his book The Soul's Code calls it the Acorn Theory -- the idea that like an acorn, each person has the potential for the life of a great and mighty oak, if they meet the right conditions to crack open and grow.

Our souls will whisper to us, urging us to grow in the direction of the life it has the potential to express if we heed its call. And if we don't heed its call and instead choose to dissociate from the dissonance, that soul whisper will eventually turn into a brick thrown at the side of our heads.

While marketers can manipulate peoples' fears, greed, and anxiety into motivating transactions, the real job we have in building fruitful relationships with clients (regardless of what we're selling) is to learn to speak the language that the whisper of our souls speak. If we can talk to the ache a person feels as they yearn for their purpose to be fulfilled, for their minds, bodies, and hearts to be healed so they can create the conditions for their dharma to be lived out fully, then we don't just create customers,

we create friends, allies, and community. We become leaders in the most profound sense, and the services we offer fulfill a purpose so much deeper than an exchange of value.

The invitation from today's Sunday Service is to be courageous and honest enough to sit with the discomfort, dissonance, and dissatisfaction that is gnawing away at the back of your mind. To have the bravery to confront the magnitude of your calling, and the terrifying brilliance of possibility that it presents. To stop stifling the whisper, and start speaking to your soul. When you learn the language of your own soul, you might find you can speak to others' as well.

Mini plug for something cool I'm doing:

This isn't a marketing email, and these aren't sales letters. But if you're a coach who wants to learn how to orient your services and sell to peoples' souls, then hit up the QX Free Community and register for the 3-week coaching container that Matthew and I are doing for free. It's an intensive to get people their first aligned clients, and learn the systems we're using to help people scale their business with purpose-driven communities on Skool. We're giving away $61,000 worth of prizes to the people who attend all the way until the end (because we like speaking to peoples' souls and stuff, but we also like being extra). We start November 15th, 9–11 AM PST. See you there.