The Lads are Hurtin'
My best friend/business partner Matthew has a tendency of triggering the shit out of certain members of our sensitive spiritually inclined community, because he commits the New Age social faux-pas of talking about, and even prioritizing muscles and money.
He triggers even more people by his embodied assertion that "men should be strong and masculine".
He triggers even more people by his prophetic concern that more men than ever are weak and feminized, and it's causing an undue amount of suffering and problems in our world.
I can say I fundamentally agree based on personal experience.
Most of my ails as a young man were either caused or exacerbated by my inability to hold a strong, masculine frame, establish clear relational boundaries, not taking the lead in my relationships with women, becoming overwhelmed by moods and emotions, or not doing the hard thing I knew I had the responsibility to do as a man.
I've also fallen into spiritual traps where I have spent most of my time, energy, and attention vibrating like a dildo in the quantum field, trying to good-vibe my way into manifesting my desired future instead of practical, grounded, reality-based participation in my own life.
Matthew introduced me to the concept that there are five pillars of human potential: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial.
My own mental model for the venn diagram of Being trends towards the good old fashioned body (somatic experience, neurochemistry and hormonal physiology, postural expression of personality, capacity for movement/strength), mind (systems that offload cognitive bandwidth, capacity for sustained attention through focused work and meditation, internalized stories and language that shapes our perception of reality, integration of the various parts of our psyche), and spirit (connection to God, the calling on our life/dharma, and the pursuit of Righteousness over the conditioning of the world).
But for practical day-to-day reflection, the five pillars slap. They're easy to check in on, and when one starts to slip, you see the whole structure start to lean sideways.
You can't financially buy your way into a relationship with God.
You can't spiritually bypass your way out of a nervous system that's tripping out over being broke.
You can't muscle your way through a broken heart.
And you definitely mentally reframe your way out of a hormonally imbalanced physiology.
All Worked Up
The other day, Matthew woke up and came storming out of his room with a look of concerned gravitas on his face. He stares at me sitting on the couch typing up a course we're working on, wide-eyed with passion. I raise an eyebrow, waiting for the important thing he's about to tell me.
"I've been waking up raging. My high testosterone levels are a borderline problem. The bigger problem is how many women I've been talking to who are pissed off by overly emotional men without any testosterone. They're getting exhausted by holding the masculine frame for these poor gents who are out here getting cooked by low T.
The next newsletter has to be about testosterone."
I laugh at the idea that the next topic I grace peoples' inbox with is the lack of nocturnal penile tumescence in modern men, but I concede. Trying to get people to care about testosterone feels like a Carnivore Aurelius meets biohacker gym bro internet subculture cliché.
But, like... it's a problem.
The men in our lives are hurting, and by proxy, the women in our lives have been suffering for it.
You may have seen the memes that remark how the average 22-year-old today has testosterone levels lower than a 67-year-old in 2000. We’ve normalized a hormonal profile that, in any tribal or ancient society, would signal a man is nearing the end of his reproductive life — at twenty-five
A 2021 study analyzed NHANES data from young and adolescent U.S. males (ages 15–40) between 1999–2000 and 2011–2016. It found a significant drop in average total testosterone—even when controlling for BMI, smoking, and other variables.
Roughly 1 in 100 U.S. adults (and more in certain middle-age bands) filled a testosterone replacement therapy prescription in 2022, with use climbing post-2018 after a mid-decade dip.
Around 20% of young men today meet clinical thresholds for testosterone deficiency up from lower prevalence decades ago. Beyond that, there's a broader "male infertility crisis": sperm counts have dropped by more than 50% since the 1970s in Western countries, and declining testosterone is likely a major piece of that puzzle.
Low test is a nuisance, individually and collectively.
Test and the 5 Pillars
Testosterone is a master signaler in both men and women (yes, women too, just at ~1/10th the serum concentration), and its influence is systemic. The molecule doesn’t just make you feel more “manly”, it alters how your brain metabolizes risk, reward, connection, and meaning. That’s why, when we map it against the five pillars of human potential, its role becomes almost embarrassingly obvious.
1. Mental Pillar
- Neuroplasticity & Focus: Healthy T supports dopamine signaling, especially in the mesolimbic reward pathways. This boosts goal-directed behavior, persistence, and the ability to sustain effort on cognitively demanding tasks.
- Confidence in Cognition: Adequate T increases tolerance for uncertainty and risk, which in the mental domain translates into bolder thinking and greater willingness to explore unconventional solutions.
- Cognitive Decline Resistance: In men, low T correlates with brain fog, reduced verbal fluency, and even accelerated neurodegenerative risk; in women, healthy T supports spatial reasoning, memory, and sharper executive function.
Without it: You get that “I know what to do but can’t get myself to do it” limbo — the mind is capable, but the signal to act is faint.
2. Spiritual Pillar
- Agency & Integrity: Testosterone strengthens one’s felt sense of agency — the capacity to enact one’s beliefs. Spiritually, this means not just holding convictions, but standing for them when challenged.
- Sacrificial Courage: In scripture and myth, the warrior archetype guards the priest; biologically, healthy T helps override fear responses in service to a higher aim (a biblical example: Acts 4 boldness before the Sanhedrin).
- Healthy Pride vs. Ego Inflation: Adequate T allows you to carry spiritual authority without collapsing into passivity or puffed-up arrogance. It’s the difference between “meek” (strength under control; those who Jesus said would inherit the earth in the Sermon on the Mount) and “timid” (fear of conflict).
Without it: Convictions get privatized — you “believe” but don’t embody; spiritual disciplines become mental gymnastics instead of embodied obedience.
3. Physical Pillar
- Muscle & Bone Density: Obvious but crucial — T is anabolic. Adequate levels allow for lean muscle maintenance and strong bones without excessive injury risk.
- Recovery & Energy: T supports red blood cell production and mitochondrial efficiency — meaning more oxygen delivery, faster tissue repair, and greater sustained work capacity.
- Sexual Health: Libido is the most famous proxy, but in reality, healthy T means a body that feels like a capable vessel — which reinforces confidence in all other domains.
Without it: The body loses some of its “readiness” signal — you can push hard, but each push extracts more cost than it should.
4. Emotional Pillar
- Resilience Under Stress: Adequate T blunts excessive cortisol reactivity. This doesn’t mean you feel no stress — it means stress doesn’t own you.
- Decisive Empathy: T is often demonized as making people aggressive, but in healthy balance, it reduces social anxiety and supports direct, clear expression — the foundation of healthy boundaries.
- Mood Stability: Low T is strongly linked to depressive symptoms, apathy, and irritability; optimal levels are correlated with more even moods and higher positive affect.
Without it: Emotional life becomes either muted (apathy) or overreactive (fragile self-esteem, reactivity to perceived threats).
5. Financial Pillar
- Risk Appetite & Initiative: Testosterone directly modulates risk-taking behavior. Healthy levels increase calculated boldness — the ability to take measured risks without being reckless.
- Negotiation Presence: There’s measurable data showing T spikes before and during competition correlate with more assertive negotiation and higher earnings.
- Persistence in Vision: In entrepreneurship, healthy T sustains the grind when the immediate payoff isn’t visible — because the nervous system can handle prolonged uncertainty.
Without it: Money decisions trend towards timid — overly conservative investing, hesitancy in asking for raises, avoidance of entrepreneurial risk even when calculated odds are in your favor. On the flip side, becoming overly emotional and making impulsive purchases as a pacifier. Low T drains your bank account.
Why is this Happening?
If you pull the thread far enough, the answer is that modern life is a slow castration machine — not in the cartoonish “they’re putting estrogen in the water and turning the frogs gay” way, but through hundreds of converging pressures that blunt the male endocrine system at every level: brain, gonad, and receptor site.
1. Endocrine Disruptors (EDCs) in the Environment
(AKA everything is poison)
- Plastics & BPA/BPS: These compounds act as xenoestrogens, binding to estrogen receptors and altering hormone balance. They’re in water bottles, receipts, food packaging, and even dental sealants.
- Phthalates: Common in cosmetics, cleaning products, and vinyl — they suppress testosterone synthesis in the testes.
- Pesticides & Herbicides (e.g., atrazine): Some alter the expression of genes involved in hormone production; others increase aromatase activity, converting T into estrogen.
- Heavy Metals: Lead, cadmium, and mercury damage Leydig cells (where T is produced).
Bottom line: The modern man is bathing in a chemical soup that signals his body to “act more like prey” — less muscle, less aggression, more docility.
2. Nutrient Deficiency & Food Quality Decline
(AKA we eat like shit)
- Zinc, Magnesium, Boron: These are critical for T synthesis; soil depletion and processed diets mean many men run chronically low.
- Cholesterol Avoidance: Testosterone is made from cholesterol. Decades of low-fat dietary dogma (thanks Ancel Keys...) and statin use blunt raw material supply.
- PUFA Overload (seed oils): High omega-6 intake oxidizes cell membranes and may disrupt steroid hormone production.
3. Chronic Stress & Cortisol Dominance
(AKA we don't know how to chill the fuck out)
- Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Gonadal (HPG) Axis Suppression: Long-term stress keeps cortisol elevated, which signals the brain to downregulate GnRH, the hormone that tells your testes to make T. We're a stressed out generation, trying to mold our ancient biology to a busy, industrialized, digitized world.
- Sleep Debt: Even one week of sleeping 5 hours/night can drop T by 10–15%. Many men have been doing this for years, and the results are compounding.
- Digital Overstimulation: Constant novelty chasing (scrolling, porn, notifications) dysregulates dopamine, which also affects hormonal rhythms.
4. Sedentary Living & Physical Inactivity
(AKA we're couch slugs and barely move)
- Muscle as a Signal: Muscle mass itself sends anabolic signals to the brain. Sitting 10+ hours/day tells your body you are not a hunter, so you don’t need a hunter’s hormonal profile (duh).
- Lack of Resistance Training: Lifting weights is one of the fastest acute spikes for T; most men either don’t do it or train inconsistently.
5. Excess Body Fat (Especially Visceral Fat)
(AKA we're getting cooked by inflammatory, fattening lifestyles)
- Aromatase Activity: Fat tissue (especially around the organs) converts testosterone to estrogen, lowering usable T levels.
- Inflammation Loop: Adipose tissue pumps out inflammatory cytokines, further suppressing the HPG axis.
- Insulin Resistance: Disrupts sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG), skewing free vs. total T balance.
6. Lack of Sunlight & Circadian Disruption
(AKA we're sitting under LEDs all day instead of getting outside)
- Vitamin D Deficiency: D acts like a hormone in the body and is tied directly to T production. Indoor living = chronically low D.
- Blue Light at Night: Suppresses melatonin, which disrupts the natural overnight T production cycle.
- Shift Work & Erratic Sleep: Breaks the circadian signal the testes rely on to time hormone release.
7. Pornography & Sexual Exhaustion
(AKA the most demonic industry in existence has us by the balls)
- Dopamine Burnout: Chronic porn use can desensitize dopamine receptors, reducing motivation and drive — both of which T relies on to signal the “pursue” circuitry.
- HPA Axis Confusion: Artificially high sexual stimulation without real-world relational/physical engagement alters how the brain prioritizes energy allocation.
8. Medical Overreach & Pharmaceuticals
(AKA "big pharma")
- SSRIs & Antidepressants: Can blunt sexual function and lower free T.
- Opioids: Directly suppress GnRH and LH (luteinizing hormone).
- Statins: Lower cholesterol, the backbone for steroid hormone synthesis.
- Birth Control Runoff: Synthetic estrogens in water supplies from female contraceptive use — small effect individually, but constant low-dose exposure adds up over decades.
As a result, modern men (and women) are:
- Chemically suppressed (xenoestrogens, heavy metals)
- Nutritionally starved (low zinc, D, magnesium, cholesterol)
- Physically under-stimulated (no lifting, constant sitting)
- Chronically inflamed (visceral fat, processed food, high insulin)
- Circadianly scrambled (late nights, low sun)
- Psychologically dulled (digital dopamine, stress, porn)
This is why Matthew and I added a metabolic health course in our QX Coaches Platform - even though we focus on helping people make more money in their coaching business, if their physiology and hormones are out of whack, they're driving with the handbrake on. Specifically, we went deep to teach people about:
🥩 Pro Metabolic Nutrition
🌞 Circadian Biology and Light Synching
🫁 Breath Biochemistry and Biomechanics
🪱 Detox and Parasite Cleansing Protocols
... throw in a bit of sprinting, heavy lifting, and hydration, and you have a solid recipe for healthy testosterone (amongst a whole panel of well-balanced hormones).
Physiology is either the access or the block to expressing your full personality and potential.
Life for a man is harder when you aren't waking up hard every day.
Do yourself, society, and the women in your life the moral duty of fixing your test. levels. You'd be surprised by how many areas of your life improve as a many when you're pitching a tent every morning.
And for something completely unrelated...
A playlist a friend sent that makes my face go:
(Listen here 🎧)
Luv u,
A
